Perpetrators of domestic violence can be any race, age or income level. Abusers are not easy to spot. There is no ‘typical’ abuser. In public, they may appear friendly and loving to their partner and family.  Most abusers are violent only with their partner. They are likely able to function non-violently in all other aspects of life.Show extreme jealousy and possessiveness

  • Hold rigid, traditional views of how women should act, and have negative attitudes toward women
  • Tend to have a low tolerance for stress
  • Make unrealistic demands on their partners
  • Act charming and caring, especially in outside relationships (friends, family, etc.)

Abuse is not an accident.  It does not happen because someone was stressed-out, drinking, or using drugs.  Abuse is an intentional act that one person uses in a relationship to control the other.  Abusers have learned to abuse so that they can get what they want.  The abuse may be physical, sexual, emotional or psychological.

Abusers often have low self-esteem and  have difficulty taking responsibility for their actions.  Many blame the victim for the abuse and deny or minimize the abuse.  In most cases, men abuse females. However it’s important to remember that women can also be abusers, and men can be victims.